Top 10 late night jokes about Donald’s Trump’s...
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Feb 17, 2017  |  Vote 0    0

Top 10 late night jokes about Donald’s Trump’s Thursday press conference

Comics Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, James Corden and Seth Meyers had much to chew on after President Donald Trump unleashed a barrage of attacks on the media and others in his chaotic news conference

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Donald Trump’s impromptu news conference on Thursday came out of nowhere, like a surprise storm, to dominate the day’s news feed.

Here are our top 10 comments about it from comics Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, James Corden and Seth Meyers:

When Trump was asked by an African-American reporter if he planned to reach out to the Congressional Black Caucus. Trump replied, “Are they friends of yours?” and “Do you want to set up the meeting?”

1) Stephen Colbert: “Oh, you’re a black woman, can you talk to the Congressional Black Caucus? Can you guys get together at your next meeting of the black club? Can you black people just figure that thing out? You know what, forget it. I’ll have Ben Carson do it.”

2) Jimmy Kimmel: “You know it’s a bad press conference when assuming all black people know each other wasn’t even the worst part of it.”

3) Colbert (to bandleader Jon Batiste): “Jon, it’s true, right? … Is he giving away a secret? All black people know each other, right? And you control each other’s schedules?”

Batiste: “Yeah, yeah, we meet at Oprah’s house.”

Colbert: “Oh, at Oprah’s house? Can you set up a meeting between me and Beyoncé and Denzel Washington and Frederick Douglass? Because I’ve been hearing some great things about that guy.”

When a reporter corrected Trump after he wrongly claimed he had the biggest electoral college win since Ronald Reagan. Trump then replied, “I was given that information” and “I’ve seen that information around.”

4) Noah: “If you can’t trust your president to get the right information on a Google-able fact, then can you really trust him with the harder stuff? Which, by the way, is everything else the President of the United States has to deal with. We’re talking first page Google, guys.”

5) Corden: “Around? He saw this information ‘around?’ What, like it was tacked to a bulletin board next to guitar lessons and a picture of a lost cat?”

When Trump became incensed that a Jewish reporter asked him about anti-Semitism, instead of a “friendly” question. Trump then replied: “I am the least anti-Semitic person that you’ve ever seen in your entire life.”

6) Corden: “He’s an Orthodox Jewish reporter. I’m pretty sure he has met people who are less anti-Semitic than Donald Trump. You know, like at home. Or at his temple. His Passover Seder.”

7) Noah: “That’s an easy question. ‘What are you going to do about anti-Semitism?’ ‘We’re going to stamp it out. Done.’ That’s all you have to say. That was the softest ball possible. A matzoh ball, if you will.”

The fact that the news conference managed to seize international attention, seemingly coming out of nowhere:

8) Colbert: “It was a robust one hour and 17 minutes long. That is beefy. So beefy, you could eat it with a fork. But you’re going to want to use a spoon to get every drop of the crazy.”

9) Kimmel: “The president decided to hold an impromptu press conference, and it was a sight to see . . . my guess he did it because he’s mad and he just wanted to blow off some steam. The tone of the press conference was like if your dad found a pack of cigarettes under your mattress.”

When Trump predicted headlines would state: “Donald Trump rants and raves at the press.” He then added, “I’m not ranting and raving.”

10) Meyers: “Did you hear him? He said he’s not ranting and raving, but again, what president hasn’t had to say ‘I’m not ranting and raving?’ Who can forget Lincoln’s tirade at Gettysburg? Or FDR’s fireside meltdowns? And of course, Ronald Reagan famously saying, ‘Mr. Gorbachev, if you don’t tear down this f—ing wall, I’m going to lose my s—.’”

Toronto Star

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